Saturday, 31 January 2009

I need to get a grip and shake myself!

I am in a funny place at the moment. I wasn’t going to obsess over the whole baby thing as in reality I wasn’t expecting Thomas to agree to babies until possibly this coming summer if then even.

Things in work are weird. I was so looking forward to the challenge of going to build up family in woolton, get out their and be a marketing whore but the atmosphere is horrible in all of the offices at the moment.

The partners keep having meetings and changing the goal posts for people. It is hard to know what is going on when it feels like the partners themselves have no idea what to do. They are blaming the credit crunch which is fair as we all know what it is like at the moment but looking at our figures we’re not actually too far behind and if people pull their socks up hitting target is quite doable.

Though the problem is no one has the motivation to pull their socks up. It is actually enough to try and find the motivation to get up and go to work at the moment. Each day there seems to be something new, no hot chocolate, no tissues, cancelling the water coolers daft little things which in the long run aren’t going to help at all. I mean how much can not buying hot chocolate actually save?

Everyone is getting itchy feet as well. With the constant moaning about figures and “motivational” speeches from the office manager which basically say “suck it up and be grateful you have a job” people are sticking two fingers up and saying stick your job yup your arse and looking else were. Despite what they want us to think there does appear to be jobs out there.

Renu has left us. I was really quite sad about that. I worked for her as a clerk for about 18 months or so and I don’t think I appreciated at the time that she gave me a lot more confidence in myself, something I have always seemed to lack. Even though she wasn’t my boss I would always pop into her room with my stupid questions that I can’t ask anyone else.

Her leaving do was great fun with the office manager and IT manager getting so horrendously drunk. IT manager threw up all over the table, it was vile! She later said I knew I was going to sick and didn’t think I would make it to the toilet so was just sick on the table. The office manager was then shouting everywhere she’s my best mate. If that was one of us we would have probably had a lecture about inappropriate behaviour haha.

So this week has been weird without Renu but she will do great in her new role.

Thursday Gemma told us that she was also leaving at the end of February. I feel kind of bad because we do spend a lot of time talking about how at times she can rub us all up the wrong way but we’ve been good friends. She is so funny with the crazy things she comes out with and I can see myself being a bit of a gibbering wreck at the end of her night out.

Ah well I am going to make sure that it is the best party the firm has seen.

So that takes me back to what I was actually going to say way up there. I really feel like I want a change but the timing is all wrong if I go about looking for a new job now I would have to put all the baby plans on hold and that is something that I am not prepared to do. It is just the thought that getting pregnant is not as easy as some of the stories and films would have you believe.

It also makes me hate most of our care clients who get pregnant at the drop of the hat, spends months and months in court having the child removed from them and going through the adoption process and then get pregnant again. This happens so so much. We have one care client who has been a client for 7 years, one fro 8 and one for 11 years! 21 different matters in her name.

My brain and fingers keep going off track which maybe is a good thing stops be focusing on how unbelievably broody I am. I really need something to occupy my mind.

I have spent time trying to find a hobby or distraction. The photo a day actually lasted three weeks so that is quite good haha I should start that again as it was fun but I just don’t have an eye for it, though it has made me look around me more and notice some of the lovely things that I miss simply walking from A to B without looking.

I then came up with the crazy idea of writing a book. It is nice to get my brain working something other than work and I have had loads of ideas but I have this stupid pessimistic voice in my head saying what is the point it is too hard to get published it will be a waste of time. Maybe that is just a realistic voice not a pessimistic one.

In any event I appear to be in a funk which is damned annoying. I decided a few years ago that I was no longer going to be a miserable oik and it has faired well. Life is so much easier when you let things slide by and simply smile but sometimes smiling take effort.

Good grief what do I sound like haha

The only way to get out of a funk is to get up and move so we’re off to the cinema tonight and then if Thomas is lucky I will him buy me a meal. Hopefully this weird mood will shift sharpish and normal service with be resumed.

Monday, 26 January 2009

Load of nonesense...

I went to a spiritulist woman tonight with girls from work and she told me I was pregnant, this is going to be the weirdest two week wait ever!!

I have neglected my little blog and will have to do a good update very soon. How am I supposed to write a book if I can't even keep a blog?? haha

Thursday, 1 January 2009

Eggcellent

Just a small thing. For the first time in my 26 years on this planet I fried an egg hehe that is all :)

Happy New Year

So this year seems to have flown by! 2008 ended the same way as it started, with my wonderful friends save for a couple (damn that lurgy)!

It was a very eventful year and was most certainly the year for weddings! I order if I get this correct there was:

1. Karen and Craig - It was sooo funny with quiet Craig singing don't stop me now by queen on the mic :)
2. Gem and Paul - We had a lovely time and were sat on the best table obviously :)
3. Terri and Kevin - although I couldn't make it I was thinking of them. he pictures look lovely.
4. Caz and Craig - Loads of fun doing the conga and I smile every time Sweet Caroline is played.
5. ME AND TOM WOOHOO - more about us below :)
6. Jayne and Leon - I couldn't go as I was in Florida but by all accounts it was a lovely day.
7. Kelly and Paul - they flew off to the Dominican Republic and it looked so lovely.
8. Kirsty and Dwaynne - The do was at Aintree Racecourse and me and Carol had so much fun with the chocolate fountain heehee
9. Julie and Gary - faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous do better than Wayne and Colleen beeeeeeeautiful chuuuuuurch charted an amaaaaaaazing yaght. Julie is one of our partners who rubs everyone the wrong way but hey ho box ticked and to be fair she did look lovely on her day.
10. Darren and Kerry - Well this was a fun night although it seemed to turn into the works Christmas party as the bride and groom had vanished by 10.30 and most guests left by 11. Hey ho we had fun getting the DJ to play the music we wanted and then stealing his microphone :)

That is a lot of weddings for one girl. At teh moment there is only two weddings on the lst. May bank holiday one of the solicitors in work is getting married. The most important wedding though is Ellie and Jon. I am so excited. They are getting married in a castle and Jon wants to get dressed up as Henry VIII at the moment Ellie is saying no but here's hoping she changes her mind :)

Well Friday 30th May was the day I became Mrs Scholes and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Out of the works weddings and I can say that I was the most chilled out bride :) I'm not sure people believe me when I say I wasn't nervous, I was pacing at one point but that's because I was bored waiting for the flower girl hehe

It was a wonderful day filled with the people there that I wanted and it was nice to giggle and dance my way through the day. I still can't believe that it was 7 months ago!

Following that were the most amazing 2 weeks! I so need to win the lottery and go and live in Celebration Orlando Florida :) Orlando is just so amazing and soooo much fun I was almost crying when I had to pack my case to come home.

It got off to a bit of a wobbly start when our flight was delayed by 24 hours. Thank you to Nich and Joe who came to the hotel and gave me a hug when the lack of sleep and over tiredness hit me when the other passengers started shouting at the travel people. I walked out the hotel and burst into tears as i knew it wasn't their fault and that they shouldn't be told off. Thankfully I got a well needed hug of Nic and a trip to tesco and matalan :)

I am initially worried about Tom in the heat as he's not normally very good with it but Florida heat is so different to UK heat. As long as we kept well hydrated it was manageable :) I even came home with a tan woohoo! Well I say tan, I was still whiter than everyone in work but I wasn't as white as the milk in the fridge :)

I have three fabulous albums of the wedding and honeymoon which I love to just look at when I am bored.

So after that was over I was left with time on my hands as i had spent four years studying and then when I passed my exams I was planning the wedding. I wanted to go to uni for my degree but work said no. I was initially gutted and was looking at paying for it myself and studying at home but now I have a new work project.

I will now be based in our Woolton office. With this credit crunch malarkey all firms are suffering so the plan is over the next 12 months get out there and get marketing and build it up. It is going to be so much fun. I am now being treated as I should be as I have now qualified (that is still so scary!) but the challenge is there and there is a great team of people there.

Two girls in work had their babies this year and they are gorgeous, so so broody :) Skippy and Alan will also be parents in April - cue even more broodiness. Fingers crossed that we can share some good news on the baby front some time in 2009.

I know that 2008 has been brilliant for me and there have been awfully sad times and times that made me worry. I initially wasn't going to put them in my blog but I twink writing and remembering the sad times make you appreciate life and how lucky I really am.

The start of the year I was really worried for my mum. My mum has always been a member of the walking wounded and I'm not sure I've known a time when she wasn't ill with one thing or another. I love my mum to bits but at times it was very trying but for the first time ever I was actually scared for her as they found tumours in her gullet and around her stomach. Thankfully there is nothing to worry about at the moment but she has to go the hospital regularly to get them checked.

I know of two people this year who have lost new born babies. I could never imagine how people would cope with that feeling. A girl from hitched also lost her baby this year and her beautiful words say it all "most people can only dream of angels, I have held one in my arms".

My friend Jo also went through a terrible miscarriage. A miscarriage must be hard to deal with and my heart went out to her for what she had to deal with afterwards.

If this year has taught me anything it is that life is too short and I need to make the most of it really. There is the sensible part of my head that says that obviously I need to make sure that we have money to live and so on but I can't let things hold me back. This year I am going to be confident in myself and not let my nerves hold me back. With that in mind all this credit crunch on the news is something that needs to be kept in mind but not to be used as an excuse not to do things.

I'm not making sensible resolutions this year as there isn't any real point all this diet nonsense if i want to eat well then i will if not I will eat 6 bags of crisps in a day (mmm I want crisps) so my New years Resolutions are as follows:

1. Find a match for the odd socks or just throw them in the bin!
2. Sell all the jumble in the spare room or take it to a charity shop
3. Go to New York and eat a pretzel mmmm pretzel
4. Work hard in work
5. Play hard at home

2009 is going to be a year of fun and realising that growing up isn't actually that scary :)

A very happy, healthy and wonderful 2009 to everyone :)